Mornings in the Morrison household are anything but calm and peaceful. World War 3 begins with the ring of an alarm 5 days a week. Weekends tend to be a little less hectic but nonetheless exhausting.
Four children including two teenagers are enough to drive any woman insane.
They do say that having children is expensive. They don’t tell you it’s due to all the wine you need to drink to survive under the same roof as them. I must add though, credit where it’s due, this morning went without a hitch. I’ve been suffering with the most crippling back pain for the last week and they have tried to act more like small humans and less like The Walking Dead.
For the last 3 days I’ve been having steroid injections to help the back pain and I have to say it really has done wonders. In fact, I’m feeling more and more like wonder woman every day.I know it’s the drugs that are giving me this newfound energy and movement but I cannot lie in my bed and rest for another moment or I will go stir crazy!
Hubby, god bless him, had got a cleaner in the day before as the mess was piling up with Mama out of action in the cleaning department. So, there wasn’t a lot to do around the house for a change.
With the steroids pumping around my body, and desperate to get out of my bedroom and do SOMETHING, this morning I decided to gently tackle the Winter/Summer wardrobe changeover. I would just about live to regret this decision!
I decided to start in the 2 boys room, which consisted of two single beds. They were originally one bed with an extra bed on pull out legs that slid out from underneath. They served perfectly as 2 singles although one was a little smaller than the other.
Between the two beds stood a wooden chest of drawers. Each bed had 2 big plastic containers of Summer essentials crammed underneath, that should hopefully still fit them this year.I dragged out the first box, lifted it, and emptied it on to one of the beds. It was heavy but the steroids were giving me lots of energy.
I then pulled out the second box and emptied the contents out. Unbeknown to me, this box was apparently holding up the bed! To my dismay the bed collapsed into a heap on the floor. How many times had I had to shout at them for jumping on the furniture? How many times had I threatened the bed would collapse in the middle of the night?
These beds with fold under legs are not equipped to deal with too much weight. If it wasn’t for the steroids I’d be on the wine now and it’s not even noon. Sigh! I took all the clothes now lying in a huge pile on top of the collapsed bed and threw them on the other. I had to take the empty boxes into my bedroom to get them out of the way. Again, I attempted to lift the bed, but to no avail. Not even the steroids were going to help me get this dead weight off the ground.
I rolled all the bedding off the floored bed, hoping to lighten the load and carried it into my room, knocking the mirror off the landing wall in the process. Noooooo, that’s seven years of bad luck, talk about adding insult to injury!!!
After cleaning up the broken glass, cutting my finger and thumb, it’s back to the bed. Now the chest of drawers was getting in my way. I couldn’t get between the chest and the bed to be able to lift it up. So, I emptied out all the drawers onto the bed that was still standing and put the empty drawers in the bathroom and turned the chest sideways, allowing me access to finally lift the bed.
Hurrah!!
A feeling of elation came over me, like I’d just conquered Everest. As I pulled the bed away from the wall and lifted it, the bloody mattress fell off between the bed frame and the wall. I took advantage of the situation and lifted the bed back to standing position easily without the mattress weighing it down.
Now the bed was on its feet I needed to get the mattress back on top but it was too heavy and, of-course, it had no side handles! Finally, after a few grunts and lots of profanities, I managed to get the mattress back on top of the bed.
I had to lie down atop it for a few minutes to catch my breath; this was bloody exhausting. I had to laugh at myself, the kids would have had me all over YouTube had they been here to witness this.
So, now I had the one bed looking like a car-boot sale, the other like a teenager had slept in it for 6 months and clothes everywhere. My bedroom looked like a church jumble sale and the bathroom was unaccessible. The whole upstairs of the house looked like we have been burgled and my beautiful glass mirror was in a pile of shards in the bin.
I needed to lie down but the sofa was the only clutter free possibility for now. My attempt to do one little chore has caused total chaos. I think I may need to get the cleaner back in again just to undo the mess I have made before the family get back home.
Oh, for a glass of wine right now.
By Amanda Carrington – Desperate Housewife